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Forcing Jessica onto the ground to walk on all four's Steve threw a sheet over her an started her walking toward the judges table, once there she was made to sit on the end of the row of lined pigs. Starting from the first pig in line the judge judged the contestants, open reaching Steve's entry he was asked to remove the sheet and reveal his best pig to the judge.Reaching for the sheet Steve grabbed and ripped it off of Jessica, once she had been revealed the other pig owner's all began to argue and yell with the judge that a human could not be entered into this pageant, "what have we got here Steve? Your daughter?" the judge asked "yes sir, isn’t she a fine pig?" he replied waiting for his judgment, "Steve you can't submit a human girl as a pig contestant" the judge said with his eye's glued to Jessica's nude form.Steve began to speak "where does it say that?" he asked "this is a PIG! Pageant, didn’t the word PIG! Give you a clue?" came a reply from one of the other pig owners "I. He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".Dear Abby,My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to paythe bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?Signed: CluelessDear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're running for President of the United States. Act like one.This one is compliments of ChuckThis is.
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